TheGIRL

The name is RACHEL. I'm in love with God, I'm a fan of GREY, BLACK AND BLUE:D a little pink too!! :x God,Family and Friend are my three best things that ever appeared in my life, they're always by my side whenever I need them.

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Sunday, December 15, 2013

Been thinking about my past and now.. cant stop hating myself for the choices i made.
Should have learned to keep my friends. Should not have the " have one throw one" attitude.
I suck so bad. I feeling so sad, angry at myself.
Kinda feel disgusted by my act. Don't really know who i am right now.
Lost my identity in Christ and in my friendships.
Don't really know what i want. Feel really stupid to be typing all this..
I JUST WANT ALL MY PAST FRIENDS BACK IS IT SO DIFFICULT?
But honestly it's impossible.
Rachel. You chose to leave.
And as time pass.. that hole in your friends heart have already been filled up with love, joy and laughter from another friend.
Yes. You can still be friends with them.
BUT. It'll never be the same. You try. but it will never happen. All you feel will be awkwardness and guilt.
Its hard..
SO MUCH REGRETS.
Feel like crying so much.. but apparently it doesn't help.
Should have learn to spend my time equally with each and every one of my friends.
I'm just like an ignorant brat.
What to do. No point crying over split milk.
LETS MOVE ON RACHEL. like i said. Ain't nobody gonna wait for your heavy ass.

will we still be friends?

OMG haha im back like in a gazillion years!! I don't even think many people are using blog anymore.. now its like tumblr, insta, twitter. hahahah!! ITS SO GOOD TO BE BACK. and i dont even know what to type..

HAHAHAHHAHA IM SPEECHLESS!! hmm. anyway. I'll try my best to blog more.. even though i know that no one is reading.. at least when i'm older or when this is dead again i'll read it once more and laugh at myself AHAHH!! there is like so many thing i wanna rant about. but dont know if its ok to.. hahahahha! ok i'll shall start with just one.. maybe.

Life has been good to me. Really. I really think that if my life gets any worst.. i may go crazy and i wont be here. Anyway.. i'm in ITE central!! HELLO CENTRAL PEEPS! This year is my last year! and i'm taking accounting! been so awesome with my ITE cliques! really love them! I shall list their names (not in any specific order): Shimin, Jolyn, Yuqi, Denise, Qian hui, Jean, Li juan, Sinnee. And also Jaslin!! hahaahha! really glad that i have them as my friend in ITE.. without them i confirm cannot survive! OK.. ENOUGH OF THE EXCLAIMATION MARK  hahahahha yeah..
but unlike the past.. now i have lesser friends. Its my fault. I admit. But i still think selfishly like why should i be the one giving in the friendship when the other party hasn't been doing anything. or maybe they did do something but i'm like " aiyah.. not enough". But i truly miss them a lot.. but cant change the past. I made this decision and i have to move on. ain't no body cannot wait for me.

Just feel kinda lonely. Anyway.. I JUST CAME BACK FROM HK!! HAHAH!! WILL POST PIC LATER! HEHEHE